Horizons

It's been a year and a half since I moved out on my own and started my job with the weather service (see Chapter the Next). Most everything is unpacked by now. A lot has happened in the last year in a half. Doors have been opened. Seeds have begun to sprout.

--Kingdom
During the Days of Awe just over a year ago, God finally gave me words to a vision that had been churning in my mind for some time. He touched my heart during an Air1 concert as I was reminded that all God's children are made for dancing. This is the Hope of the Kingdom.

--What we were created for
As we entered last spring, I shared some of my piano playing and expressed how much God's gift of writing means to me. These are some of the talents God has given me. By summer, God had opened up the door for me to write for a Messianic youth magazine called HarvestMag. It is so amazing to be a part of something bigger than myself.

--Israel
Meanwhile, God planted a seed in my heart, a desire to visit Israel. To step out and walk on water, not knowing what I would find there, but trusting Him to show me. And He did. It was in the Promised Land that my Father shared His heart with me for His people and His land. I grew in my relationship with Him as I learned just a little bit about what it means to be a man after God's own heart.

--Family
I came back home in time for Sukkot. And there I met a girl. Long story short, she swept me off my feet and I asked her to marry me. She said yes.

________________________________________

Horizons

So much has unfolded in the last year and a half. The beginnings of dreams being fulfilled. A deepening relationship with my heavenly Father in ways I could never have imagined. Meeting my bride to be, Brittany.

Coming to the top of the horizon, I stand. Beyond this veil lie adventures known only to God. It's a new journey as I take the vision that God has put in my heart and walk forward with it hand in hand with my beloved. I don't know what lies ahead, but I look forward full of hope, knowing Who is leading us and with whom I am blessed to share this life.

Thank you, Father, for all you have done for me. So much more than I have ever deserved. Thank you for blessing me in my desires and dreams. Thank you for sharing your heart with me. And thank you for bringing to me a friend and companion with whom to share this unfolding story you are writing on our hearts.

Another Free Write

Seems to be another one of those unbloggerly days. Er, weeks...month? I usually have so much to write about--what's up now?

Part of it's the holidays. I've been trying to avoid that discussion, but it's the one that keeps trying to pop up. Facebook actually looks tamer this year than it has in the past (or maybe it's just me). I haven't noticed as many anti-Christmas posts.

Then, I've also been busy. Was sick one weekend, visited home another weekend. Recovering from nanowrimo. Trying to get back into working on my story. Have I really been that busy though? I suppose part of it is simply that I've gotten out of the habit. After a month without blogging, you start to just forget about it.

So, where to from here? For the most part, for once, I actually feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. As I watch my first novel take shape, I feel like I am fulfilling part of what I was made for. There are a few other things too that I've finally been able to do, that before I would only dream about. It's strange--when I see what I must do but don't do it, I feel an urge to talk about it and it makes me feel better. But when I do it, the need to talk goes away. It's almost like talking about doing good becomes an empty replacement for actually doing good. I hope I make sense.

Speaking of which, one area where I still feel I lack is in Sabbath. Having a job that requires me to work on Sabbath doesn't help--but still, I feel I could do more to honor the Sabbath day as holy. To find delight in the Sabbath. It almost feels like those days when we were first starting to keep the Sabbath. Remember those days? When it was work not to work? We're so used to constantly going, it's hard to slow down. It's so hard to slow down.

How can we learn to slow down?

Awe

The Awe of God is the beginning of wisdom -- Psalm 111:10

I met a guy once who didn't like to use the word "awesome" casually. "Only God is awesome."

Awe -- an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like (from Dictionary.com)

Think about for a moment. What do you find truly awesome?

Consider the wonder of light. Pure energy moving at half a billion miles per hour. Reflecting, refracting--white light becomes a rainbow when seen through a rain drop. Color, vibrant color painting the world in beauty. The greens of the leaves and grass, the browns of earth and sand, the blues of the sky and ocean. God took one oscillating wave and weaved it into this wonderful tapestry of glory.

Consider your life for a moment. Who are you that God should take an interest in your life? Six thousand years of human history and you think God has to help you with your problems? Francis Chan described our place in the universe like being an extra in a movie for two fifths of a second. And we demand the Director's attention to help us with our small part. He is the King of the Universe! Who am I that I should approach Him? And yet He regards you as His child! He cares about you and wants to spend time with you. He even knows the number of hairs on your head (have you ever tried to count them?).

This is the beginning of wisdom. This is the beginning of life.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?  -- Psalm 8:3-4 

Return to "Days of Awe"

Resurrection

We lost a fellow camper this week. Joel Mills. He was lost in a boating accident. Day after day we prayed and prayed. A facebook prayer group was started and the number of people praying steadily climbed. Then his body was recovered from the lake and still we prayed, hoping beyond hope for a miracle. More were added to the group--songs and words of encouragement were posted. Scriptures about resurrection and life. The Mills family went into see Joel, and still we prayed. A memorial service was held yesterday and still we prayed. In defiance of death, the burial site was named "Ezekiel 37 Resting Place." And still we prayed.

Through this tragedy, the community was gathered together as one in prayer and worship. Unified we took our stand for our brother in Messiah. Unified we marched on the gates of hell with faith unwavering. And a resurrection happened--a resurrection in the body of Messiah. A revival started, and we pray that it never stop, that this move of the Spirit will never dwindle.

Because this week we were reminded that this is not our home. This is not where we belong. Our Messiah, our King has gone before us to prepare a place--a place with no more sorrow, no more sickness, no more death. A place where life flows like a river and joy abounds. A place where we will once again all come together to worship our Creator. Both those who remain here today and those who have gone on before us--we will all be united together with Messiah. And then we will be home.

So let us press on day after day looking forward to and hastening the coming of our Redeemer. Let us hold to the Promise, even now declaring the coming of our Great King. The world watches and mocks our faith. And still we pray. We will never back down. We will never be silent. For our God is not dead!

"But YHVH is the true God; he is the living God and the everlasting King. At his wrath the earth quakes, and the nations cannot endure his indignation. Thus shall you say to them: "The gods who did not make the heavens and the earth shall perish from the earth and from under the heavens." It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens. When he utters his voice, there is a tumult of waters in the heavens, and he makes the mist rise from the ends of the earth. He makes lightning for the rain, and he brings forth the wind from his storehouses. Every man is stupid and without knowledge; every goldsmith is put to shame by his idols, for his images are false, and there is no breath in them. They are worthless, a work of delusion; at the time of their punishment they shall perish. Not like these is he who is the portion of Jacob, for he is the one who formed all things, and Israel is the tribe of his inheritance; YHVH of hosts is his name."

(Jeremiah 10:10-16 ESV)

Chapter The Next

Well, I'm here. On my own in my first apartment. A new chapter in life. My very own set of ceramic bowls and plates--blue. They didn't have purple. My first printer. Still in the box. Much unpacking to do tomorrow.

A big thank you to Mom and Dad for helping me get moved and settled in. And thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. It means a lot to me.

I should be starting work as a meteorologist soon. Getting to this point has been a bit of an adventure. In more ways than one. Both on the job front and in life. To think...my first post on this blog was one year minus thirty days ago. Between then and now, we've been where the dinosaurs roam. Tasted surrender. Just one step after another. Reflected on the little things of life. Played in the land of square men. These are our journeys. Still the chase goes on.

I believe that God calls us to be faithful where we are at. And well...I'm here.

"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." (Genesis 28:15 ESV)

I May Never Be a Millionaire

Listening to a song called "Millionaire" by FFH and reflecting on life. The song is about all the things that people lift up as their highest goals--money, fame, beauty, adventure. As humans we seek the secret to finding "fulfillment" in life. We seek happiness. Acceptance. Attention. Love. Maybe some of us don't know quite what we're looking for, we just know there has got to be more to life. So we press on, reading books, talking with friends, seeking ever seeking the thing that will complete us.

I'm an idealist. I don't like the idea of just accepting that there is nothing I can do to find the perfect life. Emotionally, mentally, physically--it seems there must be some way bring every aspect of life into order. Some worldview or outlook on life that will allow me to find contentment in everything.

Especially when you've experienced those moments when everything seems just exactly right. There is no burning hunger, no aching pain. Only joy. And though you don't understand it, everything just makes sense. Then the moment fades. "Reality" sets in. Circumstances change. What you wished could last forever comes to an end.

And then you hear that you just need to look to God for fulfillment. The things of this world will satisfy you for a little while, but only God truly satisfies. Does that mean you feel fulfilled when your life is following after God? In my experience, no. I don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel like I've found the secret to happiness. I don't always feel comforted. I don't always feel close to God. Sometimes nothing makes sense. Sometimes the hunger burns. Sometimes the pain just doesn't go away.

There is a season to rejoice and a season to mourn.

There is a season to love and a season to hate.

There is a season to be inspired by the journey ahead and a season to simply pray your feet are taking you somewhere.

There is a season to run with all your might and a season to just fall into the hands of God.

Everything comes in its season until this earth passes away and we finally go home.

That's the hope. That's the promise.

What is the secret to a fulfilled life? There isn't one. You can spend your life pursuing it, but I don't think you'll find it. Then again, I don't have many years behind me yet--maybe you'll prove me wrong. But right now, where I'm at right now in this moment--I believe the only thing we can do is to be there for each other. The good times and the bad times will both come. Knowing that someone is thinking of you, praying for you means a lot. And when you are a friend to someone else, you change their world.

I may never be a millionaire, may never breathe the mountain air. I may never find a happiness that stays or the answers to all my questions. I may never find the perfect job, the perfect community, or the perfect way of living. But I'll be the light of the world. When darkness falls and your candle is dim, I'll shine my light into your life, so that maybe...just maybe you might find a little more hope for today. And when your light burns bright, I will rejoice along with you so that your fire may burn all the brighter.

Free Writing Life

If you read my post "What to write about?" then you've encountered a bit of my free writing. What is free writing? It is sitting down and writing whatever comes to mind without any inhibitions, editing, etc. Just freely writing. Now, technically speaking, "What to write about?" wasn't true free writing as I did have the thought filter engaged and did some minimal editing. But, it was a form of free writing as I had no particular goal or direction--just wrote what was on my mind.

Free writing is a great way to find inspiration. You never know what you'll find buried in your head until you get it out on paper. Usually I don't publish my free writing. This last time was an exception because what came out actually looked publishable (this doesn't happen often). Usually free writing just helps you get your thoughts organized and find a focus for your writing (the next post "The Big Conversation" was a result of the previous free writing).

Now when you combine free writing with the big conversation, the question that arises is Can you free write life? At least that is the question that occurred to me.

Obviously, there are times for planning and acting in an organized manner (free writing a wedding would be a bad idea). But there has to be a balance. Organized writing has more of a tendency to clog the imaginative flow. Free writing is where we get our inspiration and growth. Taking chances, making mistakes--being embarrassingly honest. Usually we don't share this part of our life with anyone but those closest to us. But this is where the seeds that will eventually grow into more presentable, more organized final drafts come from.

Every page has two sides. On one side are the scribbles and sketches that come from a candid outflow of imagination. On the other side are the refined strokes of your story inscribed for the world to see.

The Big Conversation

It all started when you were born and you said hello to the world. Well, it was probably more like screaming hello. At that moment, you entered the Big Conversation. Ever since then, it has been back and forth, speaking and listening, giving and taking, acting and watching, leading and following.

That's the way I see life. It's just one big conversation between all of humanity. Everything I say or do is like a Skype message going out for the world to see. Sometimes these messages mean the world to someone--like a hug. Sometimes they're ignored. Sometimes they add to a person's collection of words and phrases, making them just a little bit smarter. Sometimes they add to the junk pile, just taking up space.

It's also a conversation between man and God. The conversation goes back to the beginning of time when God said "Let there be light!" and behold there was light. Man saw the light, an invitation to the table to fellowship with the Living God. We all have a choice to either enter the conversation or ignore Him. Whether we argue with Him or seek to know His heart, God has our attention and the conversation goes on. But when we ignore Him the conversation stops and life ends. Without the conversation, there is no life.

Just like every conversation, there are times when we lead and times when we follow. There are times when we speak and act deliberately and times life just naturally flows. Your actions are your words, who you are is your story--one thread woven throughout the fabric of humanity, one voice amidst the big conversation.

5-Minute Update

Between graduation, moving, gardening, and a wonderful weekend with friends--life has been a bit crazy. On top of that I've started a few new projects within the last month. So, I must apologize for neglecting this blog.

I'm taking a couple of minutes to write this up because I want to tell you about some of the projects I have been working on.

Words Beyond The Lines is my first attempt at professional blogging. I am writing about writing (setting, description, inspiration, etc.). My favorite section in this blog, however, is the anti writer's block--a weekly writing prompt or challenge.

ThinkTorah is a kind of devotional I am putting up on Facebook. Daily readings with questions to go along with each reading. My goal is to encourage people to read and think about Scripture.

Anyway, check them out and let me know what you think. If you get something out of either of these, pass them on.

Signs of Life

Brilliant greens and blooming redbuds tower above the earth.
Blankets of clover roll as a wave across the ground.
Winding through the woods, this rain washed road shimmers in the sunlight.
I drive this road alone in the midst of a slumbering world.

Where are the signs of life?

Waking Up

I've decided my last post (Sleepwalking) deserves a bit more explanation. A lot of it has to do with this book I read. So, here is my combo book review / blog post (more blog post than book review...but you should read the book).

The book is called "The Journey of Desire" by John Eldredge. I find I have a hard time describing this book, so I will defer to some of my friends:
http://www.emidrash.net/NewsLetter/February2012.pdf
http://brokenbarsoflight.blogspot.com/2012/01/great-honeymoon-in-sky.html

So, essentially it is about the Kingdom (and, in particular, our desire for the Kingdom). That's the message--what's been weighing on me lately. But, of course, life isn't so simple that you can just read and believe the message and then be good. No, you have to live it too. You can't just know you need to wake up--you have to actually wake up and stay awake. But it's hard because the blanket is warm and the pillow is so comfy...and just five more minutes...

You know...one of the most spectacular photos I have ever taken was when Dad woke us up at 5am on a camping trip. Sunrise is really an amazing show of God's glory. But you gotta wake up to see it.

Back to School...Again

I have started school back. Well, kinda--I'm in my third week of school and between different canceled classes, I still haven't had a full school day. The slow start is nice, though. Gives me time to adjust.

My busiest class so far has actually been creative writing. Now, wouldn't that be something--if my elective course turned out to be the hardest. I really enjoy it though. I'm learning a lot about developing characters. For every page of story, there's about a hundred pages of backstory.

Story:
Emily misses Maggie

Backstory:
How old are Emily and Maggie?
How did they meet?
Why does Emily miss Maggie?
What do they look like?
What are their hobbies? Dreams? Fears?
What other friends does Emily have?
Does Maggie miss Emily?
...(I think you get the point)

Anyway, that's all I have for now. There's been a kind of void in my mind the last few weeks--I haven't figured it out yet. But it is impeding my blogging abilities.

Crazy, Lazy Days

It's been a while since my last post. In all honesty, the book review was filler--my mind was pretty blank. These last few weeks have been pretty crazy and pretty lazy. Visiting friends, getting sick, watching movies and facebooking, blocking netflix and facebook. Oh, and yesterday was Peculiar People Day so, of course, my family had to celebrate.

School starts back in a week, so these crazy, lazy days must come to an end. I've got a short story to write, a website to touch-up, a paper to revise, and a life to live. And my brain is already suffering from laziness withdrawals (laziness is primarily a mental condition, rather than a physical condition). One day at a time...one day at a time. Goodbye, crazy lazy days! Hello Life! (help me, Father)

Survival

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 -- 1 Corinthians 13:13

Faith, hope, and love--these are the three most important ingredients to survival, to life.

Faith--Trust. A sense of truth. A foundation. Without some kind of trust, some kind of truth, we are tossed about like a ship in a storm, alone with no one to anchor us down. Faith is our anchor. It keeps us steady and provides a foundation, a lens through which to view everything else. Where is your trust? What do you know to be true?

Hope--A reason to go on. A hopeless man has no chance at survival because he has no reason to survive. Sure, he may go on from day to dragging day, but without hope the spirit quickly dies. Without a promise of something better--of rest and peace and joy and the restoration of all things, what is there? Life becomes the vain emptiness that the writer of Ecclesiastes talks about. Hope is that light at the end of the tunnel, the rainbow at the end of a rain storm. It is the promise of something better. What is your hope?

Love--Kindness. Compassion. Love is at the very heart of our life. It is what binds us together as one in this present moment. It is what gives life to the little things. Without it we turn selfishly inward and cut ourselves off from everyone else. Outside that flow of love, we stagnate and die. We need both to love and to be loved for life to flow through us. Who do you love? Who loves you?

Faith is our past, Hope is our future, and Love is our present. Without these three things, no man can truly live. With them, one can conquer almost anything.

The Little Things

In my latest reading adventures I have been noticing a lot about what makes good writing. One of those things is paying attention to the little things. The polka dots on a tie. A broken fan blade with cobwebs hanging from it. A flock of birds silently passing overhead. Little things that seem totally insignificant and from a logical point of view add nothing to the story. Yet, remove these little things and the story ceases to have life. Why? Because a story must do much more than take you from point A to point B. It must paint a picture.

I believe life is the same way. Sometimes we are guilty of missing the forest for the trees, but sometimes we focus too much on the big picture. Day to day life fades away as the little things are eclipsed by the phantom "big things." But think about it--if all that matters in life is the big things, then most of our lives are filled with nothingness. And if you remove the little things, what really do you have left? Life is in the little things. A silent walk with a friend. Watching the storm clouds roll in. Holding the door open for a stranger. Dancing in the rain and jumping through puddles. Letting your little sister put you in time out just because she says you need one. Life is not simply about getting from point A to point B. It's about the picture you paint with each and every moment you live.

Challenge: Take a week and each night write down one of the little things of that day and what it means to you. Learn to appreciate the little things and you will learn to make every moment count.

People

I've been thinking about people recently. How we look at different people. How we need people. And the simple fact that people are people.

There are so many cloaks that sometimes blind us from seeing people for who they really are. Outward beauty and charm (or lack thereof). Dress. Beliefs and doctrines. Race or nationality. Sometimes we uphold people as idols because we see their fame. Other times we look down on people because we see their struggles and sin. But often times what we see is nothing more than a mask. Can you really judge a person unless he opens his heart honestly before you? And I would guess that in our hearts we are all a lot more similar than we think. Broken, struggling, looking for hope and love and purpose. Wanting to know that we matter, that we are beautiful inside. Seeking something, but we know not what.

We need people. When left on our own, we are easily broken. We need family. Ecclesiastes 4 talks about this. We need people to encourage us. We need people to challenge us. We need people to love us and for us to love.

People need us too. They need us to look past the their appearance, to look past their accomplishments and failings, to look past their race and religion and see them for who the really are. They need to be loved and encouraged and challenged. But most of all, they need a friend.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.  -- Hebrews 10:24-25

Just One Step

The desert before you stretches for miles.

You already feel like you are drowning in sand.

Exhausted, suffocating, you struggle for air.

Panic sets in as you sink into the depths below.

"Help!" you cry. "Save me!"

A hand reaches out and takes yours.

A grip so firm, yet so gentle.

"My child, you drown in fear--it's your own imagination.

Don't worry about getting across.

Just take one step."

What If Today Really Does Matter?

There seems to be an idea or more of an assumption throughout the church that when we get to the Kingdom, we will all be made perfect and alike as if nothing we did on this earth mattered. It is this idea that getting into heaven is all that really matters--as long as I make it in, everything else will be all hunky-dory. Sure, we talk about storing up treasure in heaven and such...but I don't think pictures of gold and silver really drives the point home. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the future Kingdom. I honestly have no idea what it will be like. But I would like to give you something to chew on...not as a new understanding of the Kingdom, but as a different way of looking at life here on earth:

What if our actions today actually have an impact on eternity--more than just who's in and who's out? What if the wounds we do not tend to, the sins we do not repent of, the wrongs we do not forgive--what if these showed up as scars in the Kingdom? What if the love that we give, the joy that we share, the people we embrace--what if these are the things that make our new bodies beautiful? What if our new bodies are a reflection of our spiritual growth while here on earth?

What if this was what Yeshua was talking about when He said "Store up your treasures in heaven" and "Seek first the Kingdom of God"?

My Library

Inspired by: http://brokenbarsoflight.blogspot.com/2011/08/library.html

Hi! My name is...well, I seem to have forgotten who I am. That page should be around here somewhere. Anyway, welcome to my library. It's a bit of a mess at the moment. That's what happens when you go for years without really caring for it. Like this section over here--this is the school section. The books should be arranged by topic and then alphabetically, but they're just a jumbled up mess right now. I'm not even sure they're all there. And then over there--that's the hall of memories. Wow...anyone who can keep track of all the books in that endless hall is nothing short of amazing. I try to keep the best ones near the front. Over there behind that pile of books, see the door? Yes, there is a door there. Behind it is the room of fiction and dreams. I used to spend hours and hours in there. Now, the shelves are covered with dust and cobwebs. I miss those days. Come this way. I want to show you a very special book. Watch your step. Don't want you tripping over a book or slipping on a loose paper. Ah, here it is. The Book of Friends. It's a kinda collage-scrapbook. Has a few smudges, a tear that needs mending, but this book will always be near to my heart. There's a Bible in here somewhere. You might not be able to tell--it's been marked up so many times. I'm working on cleaning it up so that hopefully I'll find that treasured wisdom said to be hidden within.

I've noticed that a lot of people lock up their library like the closet that all the toys were stuffed into. They check books in and out--but they never take the time to organize it. It's sad really. That's how you end up with the mess I have here. But I'm working on it. Trying to get books back into their places. Bundle loose papers back together. Clean up smudges and crayon markings...mend pages torn or falling out. I've even started working on a catalog to help me find things in this place. It's a vast library (and new books are being added every day)--I may never get the job done. But with the help of the Author of Life, I think this place can be made to look a lot better.

What does your library look like?




....now, that page with my name has got to be here somewhere....

Stepping Out Of The Boat

If you have not seen the movie Soul Surfer, you should. It is an amazing, true story about faith and courage. It's stories like this that help me see life in a different light.