Puzzle Pieces

I've heard it said that each of us holds a piece to the puzzle. I believe that each of us *is* a piece to the puzzle. Torah is all about bringing those pieces together, about teaching us to look outside ourselves and create real connections with other human beings.

The adversary opposes this. He will tell you that you stand alone as the whole in yourself. Or that you are misshapen and unfit for the Creator's masterpiece. He will try to force you into holes that you do not fit to dishearten you. He will point out how different everyone else is and tell you that they must conform or that you must conform. He works with fear and pride--fear that you are mangled and do not belong; pride that you exist for yourself or as head of the puzzle. This is the lie.

Torah teaches us to Shema, to listen. To hear another for who they really are, to understand them. To walk in their shoes as Messiah walked in ours. To identify with their struggle, their pain, their joy, and their dreams. That means that sometimes we have to be still and listen. We have to stop talking like we know it all and admit that we can never completely understand the journey of another. We have to stop judging each other because we do not look alike, do not act alike, do not believe alike. The truth is that each one of us has a unique role in the story that our Creator is painting across the canvas of life--a role inseparable from the lives of others.

Torah is about relationship. The opposite of Torah is self-centeredness. Torah is about reaching out, courageously taking the hand of another and recognizing the signature of divine within that person. This is love.

Heretic Hunter

*looks up from sorting through a mess of papers* -- oh, hi there. Sorry, I'm a bit busy. Going through this list of heresies, trying to figure out which one I should debunk today. So...go away *looks back down*

*looks back up* Are you deaf? I told you to go away. This is important work. All these teachers have their pet doctrines and they're leading the people into heresy! Someone has to correct them. Hey, don't play smart with me. I know what you're thinking. "And what makes you think you're the one to do it?" I bet your one of those hippies who thinks we should just love everyone the same and who cares about what happens to the truth as long as you just love, love, love...well, I got news for you. I'm not buying it!!! *looks back down*

*sigh* Ok...I'm sorry. I was a little rude there. I apologize. To tell you the truth, I hate this job. There is no end to lies the enemy is spreading. People following the wrong calendars, believing the wrong things about Messiah, worshiping pagan idols without knowing it. They're all so content to rest withing their traditions of men. Don't any of them read their Bibles? I mean it's all there, black and white, clear as day. If they would just read their Bibles for themselves, I wouldn't have to put up with this. But no...they have to go on perpetuating the lies of the enemy because that's where they are comfortable. Sometimes I just want to....what? What's that you say? How do I know I am right? Because I read my Bible, that's how...unlike some...what? How do I know they don't read their Bibles? Because it's obvious from their fruit. If they read their Bibles and remained open to truth, they would have correct doctrine like me. But they don't. Therefore, they are hard-hearted and deceived. See? Simple logic really. Oh, don't give me that. Of course I don't think I'm the only one on earth who has it all right. How vain that would be. I just haven't found anyone else who is truly seeking yet. Wait a minute...don't go away. And don't call me hopeless. I'm just standing for truth. Speaking of which, I can think of a few things that you need to correct in your life. No, no, no...that's not what I am saying at all...don't follow me. Follow God. What do you mean you are? No, you're not...you've got bad doctrine. Yes, no...wait. What has agreeing with me got to do with this? I said follow God, not follow me. Right, but if you truly followed God you would see that I'm right. What are you talking about? Pride's got nothing to do with it. I'm just saying that I'm right because I seek God and you're wrong because you don't. What do you mean that you're right and I'm wrong--Hey! I think I would know if I'm truly seeking God or not. Yes, I would know if you're seeking God or not too because I seek God. It makes perfect sense! Don't call me deluded. You're the deluded one. *sticks tongue out* Who's the immature one now? Hey, wait a minute, don't go away! I haven't finished correcting you yet...

*lights dim*

Hello? Anyone? Surely, there is someone who is in need of my wisdom. Someone who appreciates my knowledge. Haha...how can they study on their own without my guidance to help them avoid false doctrine? Oh.

Grace

I hope you found some encouragement from my recent rants. I kinda went a little crazy with the posts because I feel like for the first time God has given me words to express ideas that have been rattling around in my head for about a year now--ideas about the Kingdom and exile and what it means to chase after God.

You might be wondering, "Does he really believe all that?" And my answer would have to be yes and no. I believe it in my head, but putting it into action is a different story. I like my comfort zone. I am a work in progress. But you know what? God can even work through our doubt.

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
-- Mark 9:24

Really, I think God is chasing us, trying to win our hearts to Him. Our seeking after Him is a response to His love. He starts the work and you can be sure that what He starts He will be faithful to complete. So, if you struggle with doubt like me, take courage--our God is faithful and compassionate.

So often I get caught up in trying to be a good Christian/Messianic/Jew (or whatever), trying to do the "right thing to do." I get this idea that radicalism somehow impresses God. That's not relationship. That's religion. And it will always fail.

Give up the idea of being a good person. That way of doing things revolves around self, around your goodness. It's like I said in the beginning, you can't love if you are focused on your ability to love people.

I heard a Torah teacher give the example of a man who thought he was a good husband. His wife was miserable, but he was content because he said all the right words and did all the right things to be a "good husband." Do we do that with God?

Are we so focused on being a "good bride" that we miss the relationship? Do we become satisfied with our ability to do all the right things that we don't hunger for God? Or do we become so obsessed with our own inability to be the perfect bride that we are blinded to God's love for us?

Some will read this and immediately set to work on trying to figure out the formula for a "good relationship." Stop. Don't rush off so fast into another set of rules or formulae, trying to do things the "right" way. Instead just stop for a moment and realize this: God is your Creator, your Father, your Husband. He wants to get to know you--the real you. Not the show that you put on for Him. He wants to know your desires, your dreams, your fears, your insecurities. And He wants to share His heart with you.

He knows your doubts. He knows your struggles. Not just intellectually--He has experienced them Himself. In the wilderness, Scripture says He was tempted by Satan. God understands our temptations. At the tomb of Lazarus, it says He weeped. He understands our sorrows. In the garden of Gethsemane, our Messiah cried out "Father, take this cup from me!" He understands our struggles. And so, it is not as if we must reach up to heaven to find this God so far above anything we could imagine. He walks with us, by our side, day by day.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. 
 -- Hebrews 4:15-16

If you're struggling with loving God, stop for a moment and remember His love for you. A love you don't have to earn. Be honest with God about your struggle. Don't "pray", just talk to Him. He will listen.

Return to "Days of Awe"

Love

What is our reaction to this incredible world our God has created? It should be to ask, "Who is the one who created all this?" I mean we know who He is in name. But who is He really? The Psalm I quoted at the end of the last post continues:

The instruction of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. 
 -- Psalms 19:7-10

According to Jewish commentators, "after recounting the wonders of creation, the Psalmist says that all of this is merely an example of the greatness of Torah--the blueprint that enables man to understand God's will and fulfill it." Torah tells us who God is. All of creation speaks of its Creator, each a unique strand His grand story. But when we move from admiring creation for its own sake to seeking to know the one who created it--that is when we begin to understand what it means to love God.

I don't mean intellectually know. We're quite good at that, reducing everything about creation and God to a bunch of equations and doctrines. I mean to know Him as a person. That can be hard to grasp considering that we cannot see or hear God (especially for very "logical" minded people like me). It's kinda like trying to get to know someone who is away on a long trip--a very long trip. In a way, that's how it is. We're in exile or as the kabbalists put it, God is in exile. His presence is withdrawn from us.

But I'm getting ahead of myself now. It all starts with the Awe of God. From there it grows into a burning desire to know Him more.

One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.  -- Psalms 27:4

Return to "Days of Awe"

Beloved of God

I heard Jason Gray on the radio the other day talking about his song "Remind me who I am." The inspiration of the song came when he was thinking about sin and why we sin. Jason describes sin as an "addiction" or an attempt to satisfy our hunger for significance. We want to feel "loved, desirable, and worthy." So, "We run to affairs. We surround ourselves with symbols of status that we hope will convince us of our worth."

If only we could learn to run to Christ, the One who calls us His beloved, His bride, the child that He chose to welcome into His family. We would hear Him tell us that we are enough because He says so. We would hear Him call us His treasure, and we would come alive. -- Jason Gray

Our worth does not come from what we do or what we think. We cannot earn the love we so earnestly desire. When we look to the world or look to ourselves for fulfillment, we will be let down every time. But when we look to God--He calls us beloved. He calls us beautiful.

Consider that for just a moment.

When you mess up. When you struggle with sin and temptation. When you act like a hypocrite. When you speak out of turn and when you cause hurt. When you stumble and fall and bring shame to the Name of God. When you feel worthless and deserving of hell. There is forgiveness and mercy--you are the beloved of God.

No matter how much you know. No matter how many mysteries you have solved. Now matter how well you can recite Scripture or read Hebrew. No matter how strict your standards or how perfect your observance. No matter how close you feel to God. None of that matters. God created you and He loves you as His treasure.

How often I forget this. How often I feel like I need to do better, I need get my life straight so that God can use me. There's always something I'm missing, somewhere I'm failing. And then I find a bit of knowledge and shout "I got it right!" when in reality it is God who chose at that time to reveal a piece of Himself to me. I forget that as a friend once told me, "I know nothing more and nothing less than what my Master has revealed to me."

I'm finally starting to understand why the church repeats the Gospel so much. We need to hear it often. We need to be reminded of our inadequacy and of His abundant love and mercy. We cannot earn God's love nor do we have to. We need to be reminded of who we are--the children of God, the beloved of our King.

Forgiven, beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy
This is our new name
This is who we are now...
-- Jason Gray, "I am new"

Survival

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 -- 1 Corinthians 13:13

Faith, hope, and love--these are the three most important ingredients to survival, to life.

Faith--Trust. A sense of truth. A foundation. Without some kind of trust, some kind of truth, we are tossed about like a ship in a storm, alone with no one to anchor us down. Faith is our anchor. It keeps us steady and provides a foundation, a lens through which to view everything else. Where is your trust? What do you know to be true?

Hope--A reason to go on. A hopeless man has no chance at survival because he has no reason to survive. Sure, he may go on from day to dragging day, but without hope the spirit quickly dies. Without a promise of something better--of rest and peace and joy and the restoration of all things, what is there? Life becomes the vain emptiness that the writer of Ecclesiastes talks about. Hope is that light at the end of the tunnel, the rainbow at the end of a rain storm. It is the promise of something better. What is your hope?

Love--Kindness. Compassion. Love is at the very heart of our life. It is what binds us together as one in this present moment. It is what gives life to the little things. Without it we turn selfishly inward and cut ourselves off from everyone else. Outside that flow of love, we stagnate and die. We need both to love and to be loved for life to flow through us. Who do you love? Who loves you?

Faith is our past, Hope is our future, and Love is our present. Without these three things, no man can truly live. With them, one can conquer almost anything.

Someone worth dying for

Someone worth dying for

MikesChair

I was driving one day and this song came on. I decided to turn it up and really listen to the words. I had heard the song before, but never really paid attention to the words. As the chorus begun I thought "This is beautiful" and could relate it to my own life. Then the last line of the chorus was sung--and I was not expecting it. At that point my spirit broke within me. Someone worth dying for? Me?

Some time later, listening again to this song, I realized that not everyone knows of this love. I realized that I need to live my life in such a way that those placed in my path can see that they are more than flesh and bone. That they are something beautiful. That they are seen and they are known. That they are someone worth dying for. And I realized that I don't have enough love for that. But God does. So, Father, let your love flow through me.

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."
(John 15:12 ESV)