Another Free Write

Seems to be another one of those unbloggerly days. Er, weeks...month? I usually have so much to write about--what's up now?

Part of it's the holidays. I've been trying to avoid that discussion, but it's the one that keeps trying to pop up. Facebook actually looks tamer this year than it has in the past (or maybe it's just me). I haven't noticed as many anti-Christmas posts.

Then, I've also been busy. Was sick one weekend, visited home another weekend. Recovering from nanowrimo. Trying to get back into working on my story. Have I really been that busy though? I suppose part of it is simply that I've gotten out of the habit. After a month without blogging, you start to just forget about it.

So, where to from here? For the most part, for once, I actually feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. As I watch my first novel take shape, I feel like I am fulfilling part of what I was made for. There are a few other things too that I've finally been able to do, that before I would only dream about. It's strange--when I see what I must do but don't do it, I feel an urge to talk about it and it makes me feel better. But when I do it, the need to talk goes away. It's almost like talking about doing good becomes an empty replacement for actually doing good. I hope I make sense.

Speaking of which, one area where I still feel I lack is in Sabbath. Having a job that requires me to work on Sabbath doesn't help--but still, I feel I could do more to honor the Sabbath day as holy. To find delight in the Sabbath. It almost feels like those days when we were first starting to keep the Sabbath. Remember those days? When it was work not to work? We're so used to constantly going, it's hard to slow down. It's so hard to slow down.

How can we learn to slow down?

Made For Dancing

Inspired by Mason Clover's song "Made for Dancing", one of Yeshua's parables, and a friend on crutches

There once was a king who was preparing for his son's wedding. So he went out to find guests to dance at the wedding feast. He sent letters to all the those who had trained in dance inviting them to his feast. He said, "Come dance before me, for my son is taking a bride." But on the day of the wedding no one showed up.

So the king went out and gathered all the lame, the blind, the deaf, the mute. He took men from the prisons and took slaves from their masters. He took the sick and the elderly and the young children. He took those who didn't know their right foot from their left foot. And he brought them all to the wedding feast and commanded them saying "Dance before me."

The people replied, "We would dance before you, but we are not able. The lame cannot stand, the blind know not the way, the deaf cannot hear the melody, the mute cannot sing. We are poor and sick and shackled by our infirmities. We cannot dance."

The king said again, "Dance before me, for my son is taking a bride today!"

The people cast down their heads for they could not please the king. Then the bride, clothed beautifully in white, came forth into the room. Joy overflowed through her smile. The children saw her and were capture by her joy. They got up and ran to dance with her. The lame stood up and danced. The mute sang. The downtrodden rejoiced.

The parents saw their children healed and the joy spread to them. The whole room erupted into dancing and singing. And when it was over, they realized that they too had been healed. They too had been made strong and given feet for dancing.

Every sickness and infirmity left those who rejoiced before the king. But those who refused to rejoice had their feet shackled so that they could not dance.

___________________________

Last year at camp when I first heard the song "Made for Dancing" I looked at my friend on crutches and realized how many there are out there that dance with their heart, but cannot dance with their feet. And I realized that one day all that will change. Every sickness will be healed--the lame will walk, the deaf will hear, the blind will see, and the mute will sing.

But there are also those who are whole who will not dance. Why did God give us feet? Why did He give us hands? Why did He give us breath? All Yahweh's children were made for dancing--to praise the Father with all our heart, all our talents, all our ability. God looks for the dance in our heart. He looks for a dance that is so strong that it begins to overflow out of us so that in every part of life we will praise Him--through our voices, through our dance, through our hands, through our instruments, through our creativity, through our work, through our play, through our friendships, through our family...everything.I sometimes see life as one big dance. We are all in the circle together--facing each other, facing our Father. We move together as one to the melody our King plays, but the dance comes from the heart. And though there are those who cannot dance physically yet...they can still praise Him with the abilities God has given them. Let everything that has breath praise Yahweh. Hallelujah!

I wrote the above about a year ago. Last night these thoughts took on new meaning as I learned about Cure. Cure is an organization dedicated to changing the lives of children with curable disabilities through surgery and sharing God’s love. They’ve been traveling around with the Air1 Club Awesome tour the past couple of days, raising money to help these children. As Brant Hansen said, thanks to Cure, children who once struggled to walk are now able to dance.

If you’re looking for someplace to give this holiday season, I would encourage you to check out cure.org. To me, what they are doing is what the Kingdom is all about—giving hope to those who have none. Finally, whether you celebrate Christmas or Chanukah or whatever, I say Rejoice, for our Light has come and He has overcome the darkness!

Relationship

Can your Kingdom work get in the way of God? Can loving people take the place of loving God? Yeshua said "Love God" first and "Love your neighbor" second--but what if we get these reversed? Or can you say that you love God by loving people? I think to some extent this is true, but I don't think loving people can replace loving God.

What does it mean to pursue God with all your heart, soul, and strength? To put Him before your family, your friends, your good works, your dreams, your fears, your life purpose. We act like we are doing God a favor by asking what His purpose for our lives is. Is it not an act of grace to even have purpose? Does God owe us that much? We act like every commandment we keep is something we give to God, but is it not something God gives to us? To allow us to do what pleases Him?

If we are dust then what can we do to add or subtract from the Almighty's plan? Can we add one soul to the Kingdom by worrying if we are doing it right or whether we've found our life purpose? Is not every soul in His hands?

I often say we are the hands and feet of God, and I still believe that. We are the miracle workers, the called out ones, the healers of the nations. But the work is God's. And it is to Him and Him alone that we owe our devotion and love--not the world.

I heard a piece of advice to married couples once, to always put the marriage relationship before the children. Because the first thing the children need is a Father and Mother to look to. Would this not be true in our relationship with God as well? Do we not need to put that relationship with God before our work for God?

Is God enough? Or must you add purpose, good works, fulfillment, etc.? Think about it. If God said to step back from family, from ministry, from service, just to spend a little time with Him, could you do it? Or do our good works keep us so occupied that we've lost time for God?

Life is an adventure. God reaches out His hand and calls us to come with Him. His Kingdom is under His control. His plan is being executed perfectly. The people around you--they're in His hands. The only thing that matters between you and Him is your heart. Does it belong to Him? When emotions fade and works fall away, does your heart belong to God?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but they've caused me to pause and think. Am I pursuing God or a feeling? Am I pursuing God or good works? Am I pursuing God or a sense of fulfillment and purpose? I'm not saying these other things are bad. But is it possible that they can distract us from true relationship?

Joy (Keep Your Eyes Open)

"There is fear in His mercy." I wrote these words nearly a year ago. They still ring true for me today. When I think about the awesome mercy that God has on me, His grace toward me--the only response is to stand in awe.

Shortly after that, God began to teach me about joy. He brought Nehemiah 8:10 to my attention and said "Learn my joy for there you will find strength." I wrote about it here.

I really don't know what else to add to that. I've been talking about a lot of abstract stuff--of running into the darkness and chasing after fireflies and experiencing God's grace. I want to leave you with something concrete and I can't think of anything better than this post I wrote a year ago. Sukkot 2011 was absolutely full of "fireflies."

I think God's joy is found everywhere in the little things. But we have to be open to receive it. So, as we move out of Yom Kippur and into Sukkot, keep you eyes open. Do not fear the darkness. His light and His joy is there. Just keep your eyes open.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  -- Hebrews 12:1-2

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Grace

I hope you found some encouragement from my recent rants. I kinda went a little crazy with the posts because I feel like for the first time God has given me words to express ideas that have been rattling around in my head for about a year now--ideas about the Kingdom and exile and what it means to chase after God.

You might be wondering, "Does he really believe all that?" And my answer would have to be yes and no. I believe it in my head, but putting it into action is a different story. I like my comfort zone. I am a work in progress. But you know what? God can even work through our doubt.

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
-- Mark 9:24

Really, I think God is chasing us, trying to win our hearts to Him. Our seeking after Him is a response to His love. He starts the work and you can be sure that what He starts He will be faithful to complete. So, if you struggle with doubt like me, take courage--our God is faithful and compassionate.

So often I get caught up in trying to be a good Christian/Messianic/Jew (or whatever), trying to do the "right thing to do." I get this idea that radicalism somehow impresses God. That's not relationship. That's religion. And it will always fail.

Give up the idea of being a good person. That way of doing things revolves around self, around your goodness. It's like I said in the beginning, you can't love if you are focused on your ability to love people.

I heard a Torah teacher give the example of a man who thought he was a good husband. His wife was miserable, but he was content because he said all the right words and did all the right things to be a "good husband." Do we do that with God?

Are we so focused on being a "good bride" that we miss the relationship? Do we become satisfied with our ability to do all the right things that we don't hunger for God? Or do we become so obsessed with our own inability to be the perfect bride that we are blinded to God's love for us?

Some will read this and immediately set to work on trying to figure out the formula for a "good relationship." Stop. Don't rush off so fast into another set of rules or formulae, trying to do things the "right" way. Instead just stop for a moment and realize this: God is your Creator, your Father, your Husband. He wants to get to know you--the real you. Not the show that you put on for Him. He wants to know your desires, your dreams, your fears, your insecurities. And He wants to share His heart with you.

He knows your doubts. He knows your struggles. Not just intellectually--He has experienced them Himself. In the wilderness, Scripture says He was tempted by Satan. God understands our temptations. At the tomb of Lazarus, it says He weeped. He understands our sorrows. In the garden of Gethsemane, our Messiah cried out "Father, take this cup from me!" He understands our struggles. And so, it is not as if we must reach up to heaven to find this God so far above anything we could imagine. He walks with us, by our side, day by day.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. 
 -- Hebrews 4:15-16

If you're struggling with loving God, stop for a moment and remember His love for you. A love you don't have to earn. Be honest with God about your struggle. Don't "pray", just talk to Him. He will listen.

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Fireflies

Remember the days of catching fireflies? How we would run out into the darkness just to capture a spark of light.

In my last post, I talked about how we find God in the little things of life. But most of the time we overlook these sparks of eternity. We're content to stay indoors with our artificial light (whatever brings us comfort, whether it's our money, our strength, or our religion). He said we would find Him if we seek Him, but only if we seek Him with everything we have.

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.  -- Matthew 13:44

Imagine, a world full of zillions of fireflies. But they only light up when goodness is present--when you shine your light. When you speak an encouraging word. When you extend a helping hand. When you draw in coloring books with your little brother. When you stand in awe of God's creation. And God says, "Run into the darkness. Light up the world." This is the Kingdom.

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"Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in. "If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the LORD honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the LORD, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken." 
 -- Isaiah 58:6-14

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Sparks

How do we come to know the God of Light in this world filled with darkness? Earlier I likened our condition to that of a child whose father is away on a long journey. How does one get to know someone so distant?

Some time ago I was reading an essay by a girl who was trying to learn more about her grandmother. A letter her grandmother wrote, a picture of their wedding day, stories from her mother--all windows into the life of her grandmother. Together they painted an imperfect picture of who this woman was.

The kabbalists have this idea that the Jewish people were scattered to collect "sparks" (by performing commandments) that God had scattered throughout the world. I don't think they are far from the truth. There are moments in time and space everywhere that like windows into eternity, providing a glimpse of who God is. We see His glory in the colors of the sunset. We hear His laughter in the voice of a child. We feel His love in reaching out to a stranger. These are the sparks of eternity.

You see, the truth is that God is everywhere. He is not distant, He is very near--hidden amongst the little things of life. And it's our job to seek Him out.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.
 -- Jeremiah 29:13-14

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