Building My Own Kingdom

Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth.”
-- Genesis 11:4

When you search the internet for advice on making it as a writer, one of the things that will come up again and again and again is the importance of building your platform. Finding an audience. Making a name for yourself. I can feel the pull of these deeply ingrained values within me--the desire to build my own kingdom.

I have to pause to ask, What does the Bible say about this? It's easy to jump to one side or the other either embracing our culture because it's "common sense" or totally rejecting it because it "clearly contradicts" Scripture. But what does the Bible actually say? Here's a few things I found--feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Do not hide what God has given you

When God approached Moses and told him to go speak to Pharaoh, Moses tried humility. It earned him a healthy rebuke. "Who made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?" (Exo. 4:11).

I put this principle first because all too often when we think of humility, we think of diminishing ourselves and our talents, not realizing that by doing so we are diminishing our Creator. He has given each of us talents for a reason. Not to be buried beneath a veil of false humility, but to be used according to His purpose to further His Kingdom. When God gives you a task, it is not right for you to say no. Rather, acknowledge your dependence on Him to complete the task, and do so with all faithfulness and love. Which brings me to principle #2:

Acknowledge the Creator in all things

Proverbs 3:1-10 is one of my favorite passages about leaning on God and walking in humility. In verse 6 we are told "In all your ways acknowledge Him" followed by the promise "and He will make straight your paths." Give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge the one who created your hands, who taught you wisdom and placed in your heart a song.

Again, in Deuteronomy 8, as God promises blessing, He warns us against arrogantly saying to ourselves that our own hand brought us this prosperity. The truth is that it all comes from God. The command is simple: "And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land he has given you" (Deut. 8:10).

Accept everything in God's timing

John tells us that "a person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven" (John 3:27). This is something we must come to terms with--it is not within our power to determine our success. God sets the seasons, both for increase and decrease.

A few verses down, you may recognize the verse "He must increase, but I must decrease." I want to point out that this is not an absolute statement as many have taken it--before this time John's ministry increased. Rather, it is about recognizing that everything has its place in time and we are each only one small part of God's greater plan.

Lift up others

Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us to count others more significant than ourselves. We must realize that this is not a one-man show. We are each like one instrument in an orchestra or one page in a book. If all we do is toot our own horn, the result is nothing but noise (similarly, if we refuse to play at all, the song is left lacking). Watching the Conductor, each of us accents each other in season, together producing one magnificent song.

I love Romans 12 in this. It begins by instructing us not to be conformed to this world, realizing that the culture around us does not define us. Instead we must walk in God's instructions, according to the role assigned to each of us. And then he goes on to instruct us on how to work together as one body--loving one another, outdoing each other in showing honor, contributing to the needs of the saints, being one in spirit when our brother rejoices or when he weeps, living peaceably with all.

Set your eyes on His Kingdom

As mentioned earlier, all of this is for the purpose of furthering His Kingdom. In Matthew 6, Yeshua tells us to store up our treasure in heaven. A little further down, He explains this by telling us not to worry about the things that the world worries about. God will provide. Rather our focus should be on seeking the Kingdom of God.

"Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established." -- Proverbs 16:3

Remember, your Father delights in you

Lest this become a burdensome list of rules, I want to remind you of this simple truth: God loves you. Isaiah 62 compares the Lord's delight in His people to that of a bride and bridegroom--"as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you."

This is not about trying to be super-righteous or becoming a better rule follower. There's pride in that too. This about your relationship with your Father. It's about not letting anything come between you and Him. It's not about putting down yourself, but about lifting up others as our Father has done for us. It's about pursuing our Father's heart as He pursues ours.


"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." -- Psalms 37:4

Doorkeeper

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness. -- Psalm 84:10b

I've always wanted to be a world changer, to do something great for God. Anything less seems like a waste of time and energy.

When I was younger I went on several mission trips with dreams of becoming a missionary. Not a single salvation can be attributed to my presence there. Holding on to thoughts of helping the less fortunate, I thought about pursuing a career as a doctor. I had plans to take some classes in this field at the local vo-tech. However, I didn't meet the age requirement and was diverted to an engineering class (looking back, I'm pretty sure it was for the best).

I've gone on reading books about radical Christianity, wondering why can't we just give our all and do great things for God right here in our towns. Seems like there is just so much we could do if we just were not afraid / not selfish / more compassionate / [insert missing component here]. There's always something holding me back it seems. And so, I live in a constant state of failure.

____________________
"Better a doorkeeper..."

Last year, this phrase started playing over and over in my mind. I'm not sure why. Perhaps God was trying to tell me something. Every once in a while the words will come back: "Remember...better a doorkeeper..." These words would come to mean so much to me.

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"I'm willing to serve, but on my terms."

Coming to Norman, I had my own ideas of how I would serve God. I was going to start community, get involved in church, help the less fortunate, start my writing career. These were my plans. A year later, there is no community and my church attendance is erratic at best. I did find a food pantry to help at occasionally, but none of this was how I dreamed. I still feel like I'm sitting here idling.

I wanted to change the world from my little apartment. Or at least my town. Or even just the apartment complex. Seems I can't even get to know my neighbor. My plans had fallen flat. When you get right down to it, I was trying to impress God. "Look, God, at how much I can do for you!" When we seek to impress or call out for attention, we forget who God made us to be.

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"If I cannot step outside these four walls to be a blessing to people, then I will be a blessing to others from within these four walls."

I wrote the words above as I struggled with the failure of my plans. The truth is I'm not an outgoing person. I am more comfortable typing than talking. That's how God made me. It is not for me to rebel and say "Why didn't you make me like him or her. Why didn't you make me so that I could do this or that." God has given me talents--I can choose to use them or bury them as I despair over my failure to do things I was never meant to do. I can scold myself for not walking up and talking to a stranger or I can use my energy to write a note to a friend.

The problem is my pride. I want to do something that I see as great, that will earn a name for me or make me feel fulfilled, like I've done something that really mattered. And so, "Great" becomes the goal. A doorkeeper isn't good enough.

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"Some days the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I have made a difference in somebody's life."

This is the one thing I keep coming back to. I may have made a failure out of all my projects, all my schemes of greatness. But I know that I have made a difference in somebody's life. And for that it is all worth it.

That's what it means to be a doorkeeper. To live without worry of how you measure up to the standard, of how "great" your deeds will be, of how you will measure up to other believers--but simply be light. I would rather make a difference in one person's life than speak to thousands who simply nod and applaud.

Whatever you have to offer, however insignificant it may seem--give that. Don't try to give what you don't have or to be someone else. Just do what you can, day by day. Let go of pride. Be the least. Be a doorkeeper.

Beyond the Words

Remember playing on the merry-go-round at the park? We would always get a group of three or four of us together to spin it around. It's takes a bit to get up to speed, but once the momentum is going, it's hard to stop. At that point we would pull ourselves up onto the spinning circle of death and watch as the world became a blur. That about sums up my thoughts right now. Actually, that describes my thoughts much of the time.

I'm a project person. I'm a jump into the next exciting project before the last one is barely off the ground type of person. The projects quickly pile up and before I know it, I realize that I have overwhelmed myself again. At first I try to hold onto everything. Eventually, I realize I have to cut back. I reprioritize, try to figure out what is most important to me so that I can focus on just one or two (or three) projects. Patience is not one of my strengths--the process begins again and each time I find my priorities come out differently.

Which brings me to globalization / localization. Not sure how it connects, but I'm sure it does. I don't think we were designed to operate in a globalized context. Constantly connected to hundreds of people across the world, having all the knowledge of the world at your fingertips. It's overwhelming. It wouldn't be so bad except it tends to push out our local world. Instead of developing close friendships, we seek a platform to broadcast ourselves. There's only so much space in the world and we're filling it up with noise.

Silence is something we have forgotten. What if there were no words? No Facebook, no phones, no email, no blogs. What if the only way to communicate was through physical interaction? A helping hand. A shove. A fist. A hug. Shared silence. Just something to think about. Words have a place, but sometimes oftentimes we send them off full of nothing but hot air.

So, it seems a bit ironic that I would be blogging about all of this. This is one of my many projects, placed before the eyes of the world. Whether the words are empty or full or something in between is debatable. Even words that mean something can be as nothing when placed in the wrong context (as a cup of water is life to a thirsty man, but nothing when poured into the ocean of people).

Out of all my projects, this is the one that continues through everything. Why? Because there is no goal. There are no boundaries. I am simply free to be me. The Midrash Newsletter used to fulfill this role (it went on for eight years), but I've found the blog gives me more freedom. And if nobody reads it, that's ok. It's enough for the words to be. This is who I am.

I heard someone say once that "we humans are a universe to ourselves." When I look back at the things I have written on Chasing After The Ruach, I see that in just this small glimpse of myself. And then I realize just how little I know even my closest friends. I think figuring out who you are yourself gives you an appreciation for the sanctity and depth of life--and pushes me forward to come to know those lives outside of myself. To hear their stories, to see through their eyes, to identify with their struggles, to share their dreams. To know and be known--is this not what we all long for?

When you step back from the noise and see, really see, the beauty of a human soul, the creativity and handiwork of God in a human being--it is truly a humbling experience. And you realize that it's not about what they do or say or your attempts to change them. It is enough for them to be.