Over the last couple of years, with the help of God and friends, I've been able to overcome a little bit of my shyness. There's one area, though, that hasn't been touched. Money.
I've heard lots about saving money, spending wisely, giving to charity, paying tithes and offerings--but I've never really heard anyone talk about the social awkwardness of money. Maybe it's just me, but I get uncomfortable around checks and dollar bills. Whether it's in giving or receiving or buying or selling, I tend to lock up. I don't know why. I just do.
I was in Mexico several years ago and a friend had to remind me haggle down the price. Negotiating money is a totally foreign concept to me. At least at the supermarket, everything is fixed. Just follow the system and you're fine. But outside of that strict business structure, whether bartering in Mexico or dealing with friends and family, the rules are not quite so straightforward.
In particular, I'm talking about giving and receiving charity. There are only two people in the world that I can accept money from or offer money to without getting butterflies in my stomach. My parents. Accepting money from them is easy, because, well, they've been supporting me all my life (thank you Mom and Dad). And as for returning the favor, I know that they would not hesitate to tell me if they were in need, even in a minor way. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay them for all they have done for me.
Outside of these two people, it is quite a different story. I don't have any problem with giving. But offering unsolicited--that's hard. I could say that people should just tell me when they need help. But the fact is that asking that is often harder than offering.
I don't know why money has to be such a big issue for me. I wish that it could pass as easily between us as prayer. Isn't that what James talked about--faith without works? After all, we're all in this together.
Showing posts with label Social Awkwardness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Awkwardness. Show all posts
Friday, August 10, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Awkward...
So, today I'm going to talk about one of those topics that we all think about but never really talk about--the rules of social awkwardness. Then again, maybe I'm the only one who thinks about these things (in which case, this is a little awkward).
Actually, I'm only going to hit a small subset of these rules. To cover them all would require a book. For this post we'll stick to the friend quota.
What is the friend quota? Put simply it is the amount of time you can spend with a friend before you become a nuisance. Ok, so there are a few other variables besides time, but that is the major one. Another name for this is "overstaying your welcome." There seems to be this unwritten rule that you must carefully manage your interactions with friends so as not to become overbearing or awkward. This can create a fear of exceeding the friend quota when we want to get to know a person better or just spend some extra time with a friend.
How much time is too much? Anything more than normal. That is generally the way social awkwardness works--anything unexpected or out of the ordinary has the potential to create an awkward moment. So, you have a friend that you kinda know, but don't spend much time talking to. You start sitting next to this friend in class, joining him/her for lunch, chatting on Facebook, etc. Awkward? Hey, I've weirded people out just by saying hi to them on Facebook once.
Of course, this kind of social awkwardness is worst with people you don't know (which can explain why it is sometimes hard to make new friends). After all, you can't get to know a person when the friend quota equals zero. Add to that the problem of not knowing what to talk about (that's a whole 'nother subject) and you have yourself a mess.
So, you see a classmate eating lunch and you want to meet this person. No particular reason--just want to try to make a new friend. Or you see a stranger playing piano and you think to yourself "He plays piano, I play piano...I should introduce myself!" These situations scream warnings of social awkwardness. And I can't say that there wasn't any. But I know that the friends I made in both of those situations were worth it.
Actually, I'm only going to hit a small subset of these rules. To cover them all would require a book. For this post we'll stick to the friend quota.
What is the friend quota? Put simply it is the amount of time you can spend with a friend before you become a nuisance. Ok, so there are a few other variables besides time, but that is the major one. Another name for this is "overstaying your welcome." There seems to be this unwritten rule that you must carefully manage your interactions with friends so as not to become overbearing or awkward. This can create a fear of exceeding the friend quota when we want to get to know a person better or just spend some extra time with a friend.
How much time is too much? Anything more than normal. That is generally the way social awkwardness works--anything unexpected or out of the ordinary has the potential to create an awkward moment. So, you have a friend that you kinda know, but don't spend much time talking to. You start sitting next to this friend in class, joining him/her for lunch, chatting on Facebook, etc. Awkward? Hey, I've weirded people out just by saying hi to them on Facebook once.
Of course, this kind of social awkwardness is worst with people you don't know (which can explain why it is sometimes hard to make new friends). After all, you can't get to know a person when the friend quota equals zero. Add to that the problem of not knowing what to talk about (that's a whole 'nother subject) and you have yourself a mess.
So, you see a classmate eating lunch and you want to meet this person. No particular reason--just want to try to make a new friend. Or you see a stranger playing piano and you think to yourself "He plays piano, I play piano...I should introduce myself!" These situations scream warnings of social awkwardness. And I can't say that there wasn't any. But I know that the friends I made in both of those situations were worth it.
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