The Illusion of Perfection

I am a perfectionist. In theory that should mean I pay close attention to detail and tweak every aspect of my work until I am satisfied with it. In practice it means I don't start anything for fear of producing something that isn't quite perfect. I can never finalize anything because everything falls short. If you are someone who can relate, there is something you should know.

Perfection is an illusion.
It is an imaginary construct that exists only in the world of mathematics (of course, we live in a world today that think it can explain everything in terms of equations). It deceives us into thinking that somewhere out there, there is one perfect job for you or one perfect soul mate. It has the potential to affect every aspect of life from finding the perfect way to pray to eating the perfect diet. For me it boxes my writing as I try to write the "perfect" essay on a subject.

The truth is that the world is not black and white or even shades of gray. It is full of color and flavor. Yeah, sometimes things end up tasting nasty. But no matter how hard you try, you'll never find the perfect flavor. God didn't create ration bars with the perfect taste and nutrition for us to eat--He created strawberries and melons and cucumbers and steaks and honey. He created variety and gave us freedom to eat from any tree we choose.

Ah, but you already know all that--you just want to make sure your work is mistake free, right? Again, it's an illusion. Back to food, what makes a sandwich mistake free? Is there some sandwich code you must adhere to? Is it simply a matter of avoiding the mustard? Perhaps it means putting on the lettuce before the turkey and never the other way around.

Really, when it comes down to it, there are only two questions to ask: Will your mouth like the taste of it and will your stomach accept it? In other words, will you find joy from it and is it within the moral standards of Torah?

Now it is up to you to decide how extravagant to go with each meal. But remember--this meal is not your last and you can't eat the same thing over and over again (I've tried...even peanut butter and jelly gets old after a while). Experiment, take risks, try something new. Don't worry too much about messing up. If you burn a couple lasagnas, that's ok (just try not to burn down the house).

The point is to never let the fear of imperfection keep you from chasing your dreams. Life is a journey and we are constantly changing and growing, falling and getting back up. The closest we can get to perfection is being true to ourselves today (oh, and staying within those Torah fences).

Remembering the Holocaust

January 1933--Hitler rises to power. June 1941, the systematic murder of the Jewish people begins. Today we stand 70 years removed from this tragedy. Few remain who are old enough to remember. It is up to us now to keep the memory of the victims of the holocaust alive. It is up to us now to say "Never again."

It only takes one generation to forget. Let it not be our generation.

Running, Always Running

running, always running

never stopping, never slowing

there's no telling where I'm going

to the edge we keep on rowing

can you see the tension showing

is the life within me flowing

has this race halted my growing

has my heart's fire stopped glowing

until rest I stop foregoing

there will be no way of knowing

which way the wind is blowing

...

stop.    wait.    listen.

Seasons

"You were surely created for this season and placed here in time to glorify His name."

Are all ages the same? Do the seasons never change? Yeshua rebuked the Pharisees for not being able to interpret the signs of the times (Matt. 16:2-3). Again, He corrected His disciples telling them that the harvest had already come (Luke 4:35). And again, He tells them that He works in the day, but night is coming when no one can work (John 9:4).

There are seasons in the great plan of time. Seasons of planting and seasons of harvest. Seasons of rain and seasons of famine. Seasons of summer and seasons of winter. Seasons that pass like a watch in the night and seasons that last for generations.

What is this season that we are in?

This is the season we were created for.

Our Journeys

Throughout all their journeys, whenever the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out. But if the cloud was not taken up, then they did not set out till the day that it was taken up.
(Exodus 40:36-37 ESV)

I don't like change. At least not when I don't have control. I like to hold onto the past.

I lived in the same city for almost 16 years (the same house for 11 years). Then we moved...to a different state. It was exciting, especially as we saw God's plan unfold. But there were things I was leaving behind that I didn't want to let go of. Good things. Like the little Baptist church we attended. The pastor there taught me Hebrew one on one--at no cost. He freely gave his time to teach me. I still miss him from time to time. He has since moved on to a different church.

Our first year in Texas was amazing. We were adopted into the congregation--really, family. We didn't just meet on Sabbath. We got together to play cards, do work, etc. throughout the week. Then I was uprooted from there and taken to college...in a different state. I still miss those times.

I don't like change. I don't like being uprooted after finally getting settled in. I don't like leaving friends and family behind. Going out into the unknown, where I know no one...leaving my comfort zone behind. It's scary. Sometimes I wish I could just stay put and that everything would stay the same. Life is good now, why change it?

But sometimes the cloud moves...and we must follow. It takes us into uncharted territory. Transitioning is often hard. But our Father is in control. Ahead lie greater things...eventually the promised land. This is not our home. When we get settled into a place, it's hard to accept that. But it's a fact--this is not our home. It is simply a stop along the way to where God is taking us. Some steps are hard. Often times we want to look back. Often times we wish we could go back to where the trail was easier. Yet, if I truly consider what it would mean to go back I realize I would have missed out on a lot. It was when I started college that I met one of my best friends--who then proceeded to introduce me to several more now close friends. If I rewound the tape, I would have missed out on all those friends. When we moved to Texas, I found what it was like to have a congregational family. If we never moved out there, I would have missed that.

Change is hard. But sometimes its necessary. And God often has something great waiting on the other side. I still don't like giving up what I have to follow Him. But it helps a little to know that my Father in heaven is watching out for me--and He has a plan. Wherever He leads, I must follow.

(originally posted on facebook on July 30, 2011)

Seeds of Thought

Have you ever noticed how sometimes something you say, even if it seems meaningless to you, can be the most profound thing to someone else? And other times the deep words of wisdom that you put so much thought into fall only on deaf ears.

Words are like seeds. Every word you speak has the potential to grow. Seems like most of them never take root, but every word has the same potential. Doesn't matter whether it is wise advice or a harmless joke or just small talk. Each word falls upon the soil of whoever is listening--and if the soil is right, that word can take on a life of its own. It will grow in a person's mind until eventually it begins to bear fruit, good or bad. 

One word. 

And it could be any word.