"We act like we have to get it all figured out before we can make a difference; like we have to have achieved "perfect" observance before we can fulfill our life mission. We feel like we are given a short period of learning/training before life really begins, and if we don't get our lives straight soon, we will be wasting time. "
There's soooo much I don't know...things that seem like they should be basic and foundational. Things like our identity in relation to Israel, or to what extant we're supposed to keep the commandments, or how to keep Sabbath. Oral Torah, Karaitism, Noachide, Covenantalism, Dispensationalism, Two House, One House, One Law, Traditional, non-traditional, and dozen other labels and non-labels. I would love so much to know where I stand so that I can teach my family and teach others, but the truth is so often I don't know.
Sometimes I think I know. But there's always a hole, always a contradiction, always a difficulty. I've changed my mind many times in the last several years. I want to go into ministry--that's where my heart is at--but sometimes I'm afraid that what I teach today won't be what I believe tomorrow. Words have power and I'm responsible for what I put forward.
Sometimes I have to fall back to the few things I know:
Adonai is the Creator of the universe.
He is my Father and my King.
He created man in His own image, inscribing His signature on every human soul.
He has promised us the Hope of a future Sabbath rest--of freedom, restoration, healing, and redemption. A place to call home.
Sometimes I just have to admit I don't know.
